I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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