Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
