Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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