They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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