I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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