Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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