Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
