We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
