I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
