Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
