Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Randomize
