how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
