so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
