whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you traded sex for a burrito?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
