my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
