Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
