R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
