I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize