White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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