D3 body, D1 cock
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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