He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Randomize
