Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
