Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Rumble strips road head = magical
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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