Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
