have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
