we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
