THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
this will be a night to untag.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
