Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
