hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
