He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It was like getting head from an anaconda
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
