That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
