i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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