saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Green mimosas i think yes
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
