The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
