it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
