I don't think brook has ever known best
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
