I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
