5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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