I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Couch. On fire.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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