I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
