I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
