I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
