VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
