How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
