so that wasnt chicken after all
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
