i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize