i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
