At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
