He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
