I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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