after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
When are your genitals available?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
