Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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