And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
