if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
