apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
