i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
