Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
