R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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