To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
