Operation Purity has been aborted
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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