Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
