you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
