You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
