Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
