I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
