is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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