You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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