dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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