there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
