In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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