I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
