She announced her abortion via fbk
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
