Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
