I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
