please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize