I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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