why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
