Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
