Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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