What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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