..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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