I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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