people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
