i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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