I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
