Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
